I am not sick!!

I am not sick!!

Aman ran as fast as he could to get to school on time. He jumped over the orphanage fence and dashed off to the paddy field and finally he managed to reach the school just before the assembly started.

It was an opening day after two months of summer vacation.  He was promoted to 4th std. Aman was very eager to reach the class as it is always fun to reunite with friends after a long gap.

After assembly was dispersed Aman made his way to his class. He searched his friends everywhere but failed to find one. He got into his class and found his friends there already occupying and fighting silly for their seats. 

Aman smiled and joined them and tapped Abhishek; his best friend, on his back.

“How dare you to touch me you son of a bitch …move away otherwise you may have to see all your teeth in your hands” Abhishek screamed.

Aman startled at Abhishek’s reaction. He didn’t expect this. He composed himself and said

“Abhi what is wrong with you…You are kidding me. 

“No I said what I meant… keep away from us” Abhi spat those words without lessening his anger.

“Why should I abstain from you guys you are all my friends” Aman asked in a puzzled and quizzical way.

“We were Aman we were …not we are … now onwards you can’t be the same as before” Abhishek said

Why is it so? This time Aman lost the calmness in his words.

“Because you are sick Aman” Abhi said it without meeting his eyes with Aman’s

“What nonsense how could you say that… Just look at me I am perfectly okay!” Aman argued.

All other kids were watching the showdown going on between them.

“You are suffering from AIDS” Abhishek said it as if he had committed a serious sin by saying those words.

He continued… “If you study in our class, if you touch us, if you eat with us… We all will get sick so go away and never be around us.

What AIDS?? I don’t know what it is all about… and I am not sick” Aman said

“You know Aman your mother died of this disease. And it happens to those people who lead their life in a nasty and disreputable way. Your mother is a bad woman” Abhishek managed to say it despite it is a fact that is too far away for a 10 year old guy to fathom.

Aman lost his temper he slapped Abhishek in no time and warned

“Don’t say a word against my mom”

Abhi couldn’t withstand that blow so he fell down the floor.

All his class mates circled Abhi and stared Aman with hatred flashing in their eyes.

Aman understood that all his friends started to hate him. He felt himself as a total misfit in the class. He was exasperated with the way it was shaping. He took his bag and left the class with heads down and heavy heart.

When he reached the front gate he heard Aisha’s voice calling out his name.

Aman!! Stop… Stop there.

Aisha was his best friend in the school and she was one year younger than him.

Aman didn’t stop as he thought she might also had started to keep away from him

Without turning around he walked away leaving Aisha behind.


Sister Mary stopped watering the plants when she saw Aman rushes into Orphanage.

She followed him to her room. He sat on the chair with sulky face and patterns of dried tears were visible on his cheeks.

What happened to you Aman? you left school early? Don’t you have class today? She inquired.

He didn’t utter a word.

She repeated and put her hands on his shoulder.

“Tell me dear why you are so gloomy?

He held her hands tightly and said.

“Mary mom I don’t know who my father is… And I still remember my Mom’s face when she left me here and bid goodbye with tearful eyes… After that you were my father mother kith and kin… So please tell me why my mom left me behind? Was she sick? Do I carry the same disease…? I want to know…”

Mary was dumbstruck. She felt numb. She didn’t know how to answer that guy.

She asked…

“Who asked you this sort of nonsense?

“Abhi    Aman answered

“Aman he was teasing you by saying all these. You don’t have to be in tears. Leave it and get to school now if only if you are my hero Aman. Mary tried to console him.

Aman hesitantly left for school.


In school late in the afternoon…

“You son of a bitch slapped my boy” Abhishek’s mother screamed at Aman.

“I slapped him because he told nasty about my mom” Aman murmured with eyes brimmed with tears.

“He said it because he meant it” You know you are sick and you are going to be expelled from the school”   She spat the words with increased rage.

Aman could say nothing.

Later in the evening Aman found himself out of the school he could no longer go to school, he is fired on those grounds that he couldn’t even fathom. Sister Mary was not in a position do anything in favor of Aman as it was a decision came from the school management itself. She tried to convince the management by hailing Aman’s medical report substantiating that he is safe and his mom got this disease after giving birth to Aman. But that truth didn’t help to save Aman in front of those callous people.

Thus, Aman was fired on unfounded reasons!!

Aman couldn’t accept the fact that he has been fired from school. He wept. He felt like all his ambitions n dreams are being crushed. He felt lost n defeated. Later he found himself in the wooden haven on the bank of paddy field. It was early moments of sunset. He sat there facing the departing sun. His eyes lacked sparkle and he was so listless. The thought of discontinuing his studies made his eyes moister.
Suddenly he felt tender fingers on his cheek wiping his tears off. It was Aisha sitting next to him. Her face was cloudy as well… She hugged Aman and said

“Aman    Don’t be hurt and desperate… I know you are all okay and you don’t have any problem. But these stupid people around as wont understand the fact…They are all against you. They don’t even allow you to stay at orphanage. They don’t even hesitate to kill you…”

Aman stared at Aisha and whispered delicately.
“Where else I go?
Aisha didn’t know how to pacify her best friend.
She ruffled Aman’s hairs and said
“Village people threatened Mary sis. They warned her for getting rid of you. If she didn’t they will set fire to the entire orphanage building. She couldn’t do anything.
Aman burst out into louder cry and buried his face in his palms…
Aisha couldn’t help to stop her tears flowing down her cheeks.

She composed herself and said.
“You have to leave this village Aman… She said it despite the fact that she hates to leave Aman somewhere unknown.
Aman threw a hollow glance at Aisha. She could see lots of questions on his innocent face craving to be answered.

With that Aisha opened her school bag and fished out a piggy bank, some text books and bits of paper. She handed over each of them to Aman and explained the need of each.
Aisha held the bit of paper and said.

“This is my babas address he is working in Bareli village somewhere afar from here. You have to go there and this letter of mine would help him to identify you.”

She folded both letter and address and put it inside Aman’s pocket.
She collapsed the piggy bank and collected all coins and weary notes. Then she continued… “This is for your travel fare and books to continue your studies. I am sure my baba wouldn’t let u down.
Aman didn’t know how to react. He was too perplexed to make a decision. He took some more minutes to handle that drastic change. The thought of leaving behind Mary sis and Aisha made him more disappointed. Finally he made up his mind to flee because he longed to achieve something. He needed to fulfill his dreams.
He planted a gentle kiss on Aisha’s cheek and inched away from her towards the bus stop located on the other side of the field. He turned around to many times while walking, to catch last glances of Aisha. He needed to cherish those glances forever. He felt bit upset for not biding bye to Mary sis…then he walked away.

Aisha was transfixing her eyes at leaving Aman… Though she was so hurt somewhere deep inside she felt serene that Aman would be safe.

Aman boarded the last bus off village. He took the last seat. He was weary with the most dreadful day of his life that had just passed. He closed his eyes to fall asleep.


Aman! Doctor Aman!
Aman heard somebody calling out his name. He woke up from his sleep and looked around to find head nurse Reena staring at him. He was half sleepy and bit embarrassed too. It took some moments for Aman to figure out that he was sleeping in his consulting room though his rounds are over few hours ago and being haunted by his childhood miseries…
“You have been sleeping for two hours Dr. Aman. Your wife tried many times to your cell and she did even call to reception. She might be panicked.” Reena said.

 “Oh! I am kind of tired and dozed off” Aman replied unwinding his stethoscope from his neck.

He took his cell phone and found 15 missed calls from “sweet home”
He dialed back. Call was answered on the other end…

Aman said…

“I am sorry Aisha I just overslept…I am on the way home…”







 PS: to err is human to forgive is divine :)


Canvass of Love!!

Canvass of Love!!


It is early morning, flashing of Anne’s face shakes off sleep from his eyes. This is how Raj wakes up nowadays. Her face, words, fragrance may be even touch are being his wakeup call.

He got up from the couch, unwrapping blanket and inched towards the washbasin. He splashed cold water on his face and made glance at the mirror. He saw Anne standing right behind him smiling at his reflected face. Raj taken aback and turned around in a split of second but he could see nothing but the swaying window curtain in the early winter breeze. A wave of despair swept across his chest.

            Carrying a cup of coffee he sat on the easy chair in the drawing room. He leaned backward and started gazing at the huge portrait on the wall. It was his work, a masterpiece. He beautifully pictured Anne on the canvass. She is so lively in that picture. Sitting and glancing at the picture Raj felt so grateful to god for blessing him with such an ability to paint.

            Ann is stunningly beautiful in the picture. She is in royal red saree with golden embroidery border. Her curves are so perfect and remind of some durbar dancer in the Hindu epic. Folding of the saree is tucked just below her navel showing a glimpse of it. Her long silky hair disappears behind her shoulders and some of its strands swaying lazily. It beautifies her further. Her face is fair and radiant too. She wears no ornaments except the nose ring, long sharp nose is flanked by beautiful eyes and are bordered by mascara.

He closed his eyes to expunge the tear drops. He felt like he is incomplete without her.

            Later Raj found himself in “dreams to colors”, his painting workshop. It is Anne who gave that beautiful name. Only she can do such things. She finds happiness in simple things in life. He made a cursory glance at all his paintings perched on the wall.  One peculiar thing about his paintings is, no painting is perfect for him without Anne’s touch. So he completed all his painting by holding Anne’s finger and making the final touch. Memories started to rush into his heart…only to get it hurt.

            He took the brush and dipped into the color pot and started to paint on the canvass. He vaguely painted something, making no sense. He suddenly felt like throwing the colors off the floor, tearing the canvass…and colors strewn floor ensued. So unsettled with the emptiness, he opened Anne’s personal diary…she used to conclude her journal with a beautiful quote. Raj skipped pages to reach her last entry. It was on October 10th 2011…as usual she concluded with quote written “Never let you alone coz I know how badly you miss me in this world…..” Those words did nothing but enhanced his heartache. He took the pen and wrote just below her last entry

“You broke the promises…You left me behind, am all alone in this monotonous world…”


He felt his body is shivering and heart is pounding. He fumbled to get to the couch. He dozed off soon after he fell on the couch.

Later when dusk broke…squeak of the door made him awake. He slowly opened his eyes and found the room pervaded with her fragrance, he felt her presence around him. He rushed to the drawing room…he stood dumbstruck…Anne was there standing right below her portrait in the same attire. It is not dream he pinched himself. He treaded towards her transfixing his eyes on her; she was wearing the same melancholic smile, stretching her arms to embrace him. He succumbed to her captivating eyes and hugged her tightly like a lost child found her mom.  With his teary eyes he planted his chin on her shoulder and made a peep into the couch where he slept earlier… And he found his body still sleeps there, an endless Sleep…!!






It is 4.30 in the evening… Aditya’s phone was beeping. He was tossing and rolling on the hostel bed. He groped for his cell and finally got it.

He pressed the receive button and held it on his ear and muttered a weak halloo!

Oops! It was not a call… It was an alarm!

He stupidly looked at the wall clock. It was an eve of a supplementary exam.

101: Engineering Mathematics… It is the First paper of an engineering journey. He got passed in every paper except this. He tried it 4 times and flunked. All of his friends are grabbing a degree now. Some of them made their way to IT career and the rest for higher studies. Aditya was stuck.

His father was always complaining him for not being a degree holder. He compares Aditya with his friend’s children. And the worst thing is that all of his friends have got bright and studious children. In other words he always argues with the case of bright children only and wisely avoids those having nerd children. So this comparison always results in making him an all time nerd and good for nothing.

He sat on the chair and started to do problems. He again looked at the clock and let out a deep sigh and thought to himself.

“Two more modules to go”

He didn’t feel like studying. He switched on his laptop to check his FB profile. New update found

“Rishab updated his status….Hoo!! Finally got placed in Infy…”

He closed both FB and laptop within no seconds.

He thought “Rishab was a girl-crazy stupid in the class now he made out in infy” What the heck with these IT giants!! Are they too went crazy like him”

He sat there for a while and peered through the window. He was alone in his hostel room. As it is a special supplementary students are rare to appear for this exam. He looked at the ground, canteen lecture hall and he felt so lonely and he missed his friends very much.

His classmatesit means a lot than being and studying in the same class!!

Among them he missed Arya more… his girlfriend… Her dimpled smile, studying with her, bunking and completing assignments with her, Meals from her Tiffin…everything seemed like a sweet reverie.

He came out of his room; it was the first room of the first floor… Room No. 101


He dialed Arya’s number she picked the call…

He slurred a weak hello!

Hello Aaadi.  What’s wrong with you?  Are you not studying…?? You seem so sleepy.

Hmmm yea I was.

What you mean by “I was”? This is your last chance Aaadi if you don’t make this time you may have to see someone else tying the knot with me.

What!! Aaadi exclaimed

“I said what I meant Aaadi. How can I tell my parents that I am going to marry a jobless boy? So please understand and get a presentable job soon”

Hearing this Aditya was totally taken aback. It was as if somebody stabbed on his already bleeding wound.

He disconnected the call without letting out any words in oppose to Arya.

Then he dialed his best friend Nidhin

He tried thrice Nidhin didn’t pick instead he left an SMS…


“Hi buddy lil busy here in office

2day we have an urgent release

Call U after 11 okay??”


Aaadi couldn’t figure out what “release” actually did mean. He doesn’t know any other release except Cinema release. He was puzzled. And he stopped trying to get him again and he was sure that “release “Nidhin meant must be one of his IT jargons. He felt so weird.

Before resuming his study he dialed up his mom.

“Hi mom

“Haa Aaadi beta you doing well right?? Take food properly okay??

Do not spoil your health by being sleepless whole night.”

“Haa Mom

Hmm then okay take care… Miss you and I am sure that you will get it this time. My prayers are with you.

“Thank you mom

He hung up the phone. Among the three calls he made, only the last one seemed worthy. Those words were quite inspiring. Mom is the best.

He resumed his studies.



Next morning in exam hall…

He checked his Reg.no on each bench till he settled down on the last one. He was nervous. He felt his mouth dried up. Invigilator handed over Q and A papers. He took a deep breath and started solving the problems. First two of them were easy but when he moved to next he couldn’t even figure out what the question is all about. He dropped it and moved to next.  Finally, after scanning through the entire Q paper he found that he is going to flunk this time too… Sweat beads trickled down from his forehead, panic seized him …the consequences of not getting through this time flashed before his eyes. He tried hard to solve the problems but in vain. At last he gave up he came out of the hall disheartened.

He walked through the corridor. Later he found himself sitting on the steps of college auditorium with his chin resting on his palm.

Aditya bhayya how was the exam”

Aaadi turned around to see a junior who also was there to attend the exam.

Aaadi threw a hollow smile and said to him “flunked man!!”

Have you checked the revaluation result of last 101 exam!  Boy asked

“What revaluation result?? It is yet to be out right?? I am sure I won’t… the last one was more terrible than todays.

“Yea it is yet to be out. But there is a way to get result much before. Boy said with a cunning smile

Oh!! How? Aaadi asked curiously a wave of hope rose up inside him.

One of my friend’s cousin works in our data entry section. He is able to know the results weeks before publication. Point is we will bribe him and get the result. What say??

Aaadi could do nothing but nod yes.

They walked to the data entry section of the university and met that employee.

He was a baldy middle aged bespectacled man.

The boy approached him and after thirty minutes of pleading and begging baldy agreed to disclose their results.

Boy gave his Reg.no first and found that he flunked.

Next was Aaadi’s turn. After hearing boy’s result his confidence started fading. He told his Reg.no by weighing each no.

Baldy typed and threw a sharp stare at Aaadi.

You passed…He said it with 0% of excitement

Aaadi couldn’t believe his ears he felt like kissing the bald shiny head of the office guy. He looked at the boy with thankful eyes and the boy made a face with a hollow smile in return to Aaadi.

Boy gestured Aaadi to bribe him.

Aaadi was too ecstatic to forget to his surroundings. He gave him some money and asked him meekly may I know how much I scored.

He carried a grumpy expression and said 101 out of 150…!!





PS: to err is human to forgive is divine :)

A good abandoned father…


A good abandoned father…


Last evening I was on my way back to room on a city transport. Unusually bus was not that crowded.

I settled down on a double seat. I was tired of a window shopping…J

In the meantime I sensed somebody occupied seat next to me by the stink of alcohol coming from his breath. I felt queasy and annoyed. I threw a disgusting stare at him. It was an old man who was totally out of his senses. I wondered how he could get into the bus being so tipsy. I adjusted myself and moved as far as possible from him. I felt like catching another seat but I could find none and standing throughout the journey didn’t turn out be a good idea. So I kept sitting there.

In our booze party, we booze like anything we would slosh…We puke… But all it happens indoor.

It always is confined inside four walls. Even though we are out of senses, we used to be enough sensible to understand what are the chores and hassles that would happen if a we go public being not at all sober. This thought made me bit proud of myself. Yup!! we (my friends) are less-harm-chillers. We never let things go haywire after the party.

“Excuse me son..!!

A voice brought me to present from the “alcohol-full” thought.

It was from the old man.

“Yes… I murmured back with a bit of pride mixed in it.

He stretched his hand with handful of coins and said.

“Beta can you please help me to figure out my bus fare from this. I can’t do it myself”

He took some seconds to cough and wiped his lips and said “8 rupees”.

I could find a request in his eyes.

I helped him and separated exact amount he needed and gave it back.

He thanked me with a hollow smile and put the coins inside his pocket rest inside his wallet.


His outfit was bit bizarre, he was wearing a faded jeans and branded polo. On which it was written

“World will be full of Nerds… Only after my death”

 I smiled and wondered how a man like him who was hardly sixty hangs out with such an odd outfit.

By intuition or something he sensed the point in my sarcastic smile and replied

Attitude matters man only attitude only attitude!!

He repeated the word “attitude” several times till he slurred it.

Then he continued…

You know I was a rich man even though I was not from a posh family. I earned all by my own effort and hard work. I possessed a bungalow, cars, business organizations…And so on.

Then he took a deep sigh and stared at his foot for some time and fidgeted. From his gestures I figured out that he lacks everything that he said he claimed once.

He held my shoulder and smiled at me and said.

“You know beta I have two smart  children and they are making their life with their family in abroad leaving this dimwit creepy old man behind here alone…after a long pause he continued “they learned walking by holding my finger tips now they abandoned me they didn’t even bother to know whether am alive or not.

 He assured himself.

“No…I shouldn’t complain of my children like that.

 You know I am a good father and I shall be.

I could find his eyes are being brimmed with tears and he looked so forlorn.

“I strived and suffered a lot of hardships to bring my children up to make their future bright. I earned as if some insects collect and store grains before rainy season. Then just look at me where I have ended up.

He was being sarcastic by saying all these.

“I ended up with a 2 bedroom flat 36 inch LCD, expensive music system, Wardrobe with branded outfits…Blaah Blaah…

“It all made by the money that I have saved on the name of my Gowri…My sweet heart…Even she too betrayed me making this Old man so sequestered. She left me behind and she is no more.

He said those last words under his breath then huffed.

I was so unsettled seeing him in a state like that. Firstly I felt him disgusting then he seemed like we are befriended long time ago…hmm bit strange!!

Finally his stop arrived…

He stared outside and figured out it was time for him to get down. He stood up with heavy effort and inched towards the door. He gave away his fare. And looked back at me and said

“Thank you beta…You took away my loneliness at least for a while.

“And now I won’t feel lonely”  by saying this he fished out a beer bottle that he tucked under his belt and bid bye to me waving the bottle…and he got down and bus left his stop.

I felt an awkward emptiness after he left. May be I started to miss him. I leaned against the seat and felt so sad about his plight. He was a good father … a good abandoned father…

I took out my cell out of my pocket and dialed my dad …after four rings he picked the call up.

Before saying hello I blurted out


 I will never abandon you two and I want you both forever”.





PS: to err is human to forgive is divine 🙂

Hope for another Life…

Hope for another Life…

You still awake in my deep slumber…

…As a comforting dream

I could see hopes in those buds…

..And are eager to be blossomed…

I hope they would blossom someday

I sense a pinprick in my heart…

And I bound to be the slave of fate…

…it all happened out of the blue

There I sensed your silence

Let’s wait for another life…

So that I can blossom in you

And pervade my fragrance in you

And can rest in your heart forever…


PS: to err is human to forgive is divine 🙂


First days of love…

  First days of love…


It was a Friday lunch break…She was sitting in the classroom with her head resting on the bench, glancing at me.

She was tapping the desk lightly to make beats and her black shiny bangles add jingles to it.

Some of her hairs, escaped from the knot, lazily brushes over her cheek…That makes her even more beautiful.

Our eyes met, they started to exchange words gently…my heart started pounding may be hers too…

She smiled (a naughty one)…so did I. Our eyes done with the talk.

Sometimes eyes speak more than heart. J



Triiiiiiiiiiiiiiing…Time to leave school...Still I am sitting in the class…each bench started to become empty except we two.

Some of her friends came near her…Pulled her hand, literally pulling out from her dream (no from our dream)…she gestured me bye by the blink of her eyes… I kept looking, how cute!


“Oh gosh!  She is leaving, I rushed…

We started strolling side by side even without exchanging a single word…

I envied those stupid physics textbooks within her arms, close to her heart…

Why am become so speechless..??

Idiot!! Tell her what you feel …my heart started shouting.

For the past few days it is my heart speaking rather than my mind…Obvious am in Love.



Finally we reached the front gate…time to depart; hereafter we have to follow two opposite roads.

We joined the friends and started walking.

I turned my head to look back I am sure she must be doing the same…Yes she is

She smiled so did I. J

I can’t help waiting one whole night to see her again.

Days are moving like seconds and night like hours…and sleepless too…


First days of love, undoubtedly the most cherished moments in life…

In those days

You feel like reaching the star

You feel like floating in the air

You feel like write her name in the sky

You feel like dancing in the rain…

You feel like wandering with her in a World having no one except you two…

Now I am in the state of that euphoria…thanks to those who created that cute angel…



Nights are sleepless…

I was just rolling in the bed cuddling my pillow as if it was her, snuggled into the blanket…

I played my favorite romantic numbers in the player in a mellow voice. This is different; I have not felt it before…

I should tell her what I feel for her tomorrow. What if she rejects? What if she has a boyfriend already? What if she wants me as her friend only? What if she accepts?

My thoughts started to play hide and seek.



PS: to err is human to forgive is divine 🙂